he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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