Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
