He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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