He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
