No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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