I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
