I wanna passion pit in your ass
and you said cock pushups were impossible
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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