you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
