I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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