I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
How's work?
Spinning.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You ate ashes out of my bong
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
