It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
are you so shy because you have an std?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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