rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
soo... how was my night?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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