Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
