Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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