i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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