Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
