i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
