Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
