Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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