I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
