Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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