it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Found your dick twin last night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
