no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
