Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
