I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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