there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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