he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
