and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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