She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
