dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
