just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
