Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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