somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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