but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
