Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize