i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
