i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
