If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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