my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
