just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm both gender and math confused
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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