What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize