whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
