If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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