So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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