No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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