I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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