Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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