I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
