hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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