Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
