I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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