i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
