she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
