The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
