Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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