My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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