margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just threw up on my dentist
Small penises have feelings too.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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