i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
