I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
