Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
